Sell Yr Soul 4 RockNRoll [Battlestar Galactica, 4/6]

Sell Yr Soul 4 Rock’N’Roll (Part Four)
by Jennifer-Oksana
Fandom: Battlestar Galactica
Rating: R
Pairings: Many. Primarily Starbuck/Kat, Six/Baltar, Lee/Laura.
Disclaimer: No celebrities or Galactica characters were harmed in this AU story. No money has changed hands, either.
Summary: KT likes being famous. Except for being in a fame-brawl she didn’t know about. And how she has 99 problems, though her girlfriend ain’t one.


Transcript from “Good Morning Caprica City” with hosts Claiborne Roberts (CR) and Matteus Lauerii (ML). Thanks to karatfens.net.

[Krypter Performance: Apocalipstick]
CR: We’ll be right back with Krypter to ask about the new album and their new feud with Aimee Vinmaison after this commercial break.

[Commercial Break: 180 seconds]
ML: Good morning, Caprica City. We’ve got the beautiful and talented ladies of Krypter with us this morning. First, I have to say — great song.
Laura Roslin (LR): Thanks, Matteus.
ML: So how does it feel, being back in the saddle after your lengthy hiatus?
LR: It feels fantastic, Matteus.
ML: And what about you four? It must be a dream of a lifetime, being picked out of obscurity to join the legendary Laura Roslin on the road as part of Krypter.
Sharon Valerii (SV): It’s a pretty awesome feeling.
Kara “KT” Thrace (KT): To me, it’s like, the payoff of years and years of practicing hard, even when not everyone was behind me.
CR: So your family wasn’t supportive of your musical dreams?
KT: Claiborne, I walked out of that he-hole when I was sixteen and didn’t look back.
CR: Oh, my. So, some tension there.
KT: [uncomfortable shift] You could say that.
Deanna “d.Anna” Biers (DB): I think our life stories, as tawdry as they may be, bring more to the music. It’s what allows us to play with someone as accomplished as Laura.
LR: Nicely said, Deanna.
ML: Natasi, I notice you’ve been quiet. What’s your favorite song off the album?
Natasi Harvey (NH): Ohhhh, I don’t know. I like them all. Wired. I like Wired.
DB: Oh, that’s because you get that solo bridge.
NH: Darn right.
CR: [chuckling] So, how do you feel about Aimee Vinmaison’s latest blog entry? It’s quite pointed about KT.
KT: Aimee who? [everyone laughs] I guess I say, people are always going to be jealous about fame.
ML: I guess those two triple-platinum albums aren’t quite enough to scare you, then.
KT: Wait, someone actually famous hates me? I thought only my indie fans who spend all day on my online forums hated me. Who the [expletive deleted] is Aimee Vinmaison?
LR: You’re such a kidder, KT.
SV: Yeah, really. I didn’t think anyone didn’t know who Aimee Vinmaison was.
CR: Well, we’ve got to get to the weather, so ladies, it was fantastic to have you. Krypter’s new album, Skinjob, is out in stores now.
LR: Thank you so much, Claiborne.

[Five minute commercial and weather break]


Seriously, KT’s life as a rock star so far? Entirely erratic. One night, she wasn’t paying for drinks and having threesomes with Louanne and Deanna and giving Lee shit. Two days later, she was embroiled in beefs with GB the record exec and this big-time Tauron soul singer, Aimee Vinmaison.

The worst part was that KT didn’t know who the frak that was before now, or that she’d spilled her drink on Aimee at the release party. Or maybe before that. It was completely messed up that she was the last person to know about this.

And then she’d found out from those complete squares at Good Morning Caprica City, plus. Frakking crazy talk.

“Why didn’t I know Aimee Vinmaison wants to kick my ass?” KT whined on the phone to Lee. “Aren’t you supposed to be my gossip guy? You don’t have a life or anything.”

Lee started laughing. KT figured he was probably scoring with Stacey from the label and that made him cool. “You might be surprised.”

“That you hooked it up with Stacey from the label?” KT asked, snorting. “No. No, I am not at all surprised.”

“Oh, frak, you reminded me I need to call Stacey,” Lee said. “But no, I have a gig with Needle Drop to cover the opening show of your tour. Ellen Tigh herself talked to me.”

Oh, her gods. Lee had a real job. A real job in media. Also, he had possibly scored with someone better than Stacey (who was impossible to call anything except Stacey-from-the-label in Kara’s opinion), and KT had no idea who.

Seriously, everyone liked Lee, but the whole reason they thought he was sweet — that he’d asked Laura out on planet-wide transmission — was the same reason they didn’t want to frak him.

But that was when KT’s phone went off with GB’s number and it was totally time to talk to his girlfrakking-hating self anyway.

“Gotta go,” Kara said. “Tonight, I am making you tell me who you’re frakking that isn’t Stacey-from-the-label so I can tell the band, okay?”

“Sure, Kara,” said Lee.

“Don’t call me Kara,” Kara said automatically. “Later, Lee. I’ll make sure to tell your stepmom you’re getting laid.”

“I am sure that information will come as a shock to her,” Lee replied. “Later, Kara.


“I hate GB,” KT announced, rolling into rehearsal forty-five minutes late entirely due to him. “No offense, Natasi.”

Natasi waved lazily. “We all hate him sometimes. Why now?” she asked, tapping out a little melody on her keyboard.

“He says that I either need to escalate my confrontation with Aimee Vinmaison, or apologize to her in front of everyone,” KT said. “I don’t even remember spilling my drink on this bitch. I still don’t even know who she is!”

Laura, Boomer, and d.Anna all tilted their heads and gave Kara similar expressions of disbelief.

“Babe, I know who Aimee is,” Laura said. “And I’m old. Remember when you yelled at me for not knowing all three famous girlfrakker rock bands who are really two semi-famous indie bands and one famous rock guitarist?”

“She’s genuinely an awesome singer,” Boomer added. “I mean, I know you’re all about rock, but it wouldn’t kill you to listen to jazz and soul on occasion, KT.”

KT growled and picked up her drumsticks. “Don’t we have a rehearsal for our Saturni Night performance rehearsal?” she asked. “Don’t we want to sketch out solos and shit?”

Deanna chuckled evilly. “Aww, Kara don’t like the spotlight so much today?” she asked.

Throwing d.Anna the finger of infamy, KT sat down at her drum kit and started beating out a staccato rhythm as fast as she could for a minute while everyone looked at her like she was a petulant child.

“Thank you, rhythm section,” Laura said dryly when KT stopped. “Natasi, you know any of Aimee V’s work?”

In response, Natasi started playing the keyboards. Sharon of course, who knew all music, picked up a melody, and d.Anna went with something like beat. KT tried not to listen while the rhythm played in her head. Dun-dah, dudun-DAH, ddun-DAH, dah dah dum, Dun-dah, dudun-DAH, dudun-DAH, dah-dah-dum…

“You go back to her and I go back to…I go back to…oh, I love you much…it’s not enough, you love blow and I love puff…” sang Laura. “Oh, I’m already getting jokes about cover songs, why not sass it out more?”

“I think you should do a real stripped down version of the verses with a full-out chorus to transition into Brother Love Blues,” Boomer said. “You…on the guitar for once, d.Anna on the bass, and Kara. Like this.”

She started playing a very, very simple version of the melody, and d.Anna waited a whole two measures before kicking in.

“Faster,” Laura said. “We are a rock band. Let’s go for frenetic.”

“How frenetic?” Boomer asked.

Laura picked up her guitar and started playing fast. Punk fast. KT liked it enough that she immediately added a drumbeat, hard and loud and pissed-off.

“Nice,” Boomer said. “It would be even better if we had a symphony behind it.”

Sharon had this unfortunate tendency to love spectacle rock; that, and her whole thing for the uniform were her only true weak points. That and the fact that KT had never heard of her on any scene she played on before she appeared out of nowhere to join Laura’s band.

“No symphony. I am not about the hair metal, damn it,” Laura said so that KT didn’t have to. “Though a jazz musician or two for the chorus would be great…maybe after the dress rehearsal. And now, back to our own songs. As despite all the press hype of late, we are not a cover band.”


Playing had actually taken the edge off KT’s incandescent rage that she was beefing with some alcoholic soul singer she hadn’t ever heard of, and then Louanne had to go and open her fat frakking mouth.

“Why are you beefing with a bitch who doesn’t even play rock?” Louanne asked. “Scared that you’d get beat by a real rock star, Kara?”

“Frak you and die,” Kara snapped. “I don’t think I’ve even met with Aimee Vinmaison bitch. And now we’re doing a cover of her song for one of our two songs for Saturni Night. I mean, it’s an awesome punk-style cover and we even got Laura bouncing, but still, I think I should have met this random frak if I’m beefing with her.”

“She left you a message on your machine,” Louanne said. “Also, so did Lee. Is Lee getting laid? He’s all chipper and less anti than usual.”

KT shrugged. “I think he’s banging Stacey from the label.”

To Kara’s surprise, Louanne shook her head vigorously. “No, Stacey from the label is actually banging Billy the publicist. I know because I ran into Billy at lunch and he was all upset because everyone thinks Stacey is banging Lee, but Stacey was on him last night,” she said with a wicked chuckle. “He was so bright red. I think she’s his first.”

KT furrowed her brow. “But someone is making Lee’s penis happy. I know. Despite his long dry streaks, sex makes him smug as hell,” she said. “Who would be better sexin’ than Stacey who would actually frak him?”

“Maybe he frakked one of your bandmates,” Louanne suggested. “What? Some of them aren’t into other women, or so I’ve heard.”

“Boomer only fraks uniforms,” Kara said. “Natasi is frakking icky nasty GB. And d.Anna is all about hot women.”

Louanne just rolled her eyes. She didn’t even bring up the obvious, that Krypter equaled Laura Roslin, who KT didn’t even include in her analysis of bandmates who would frak Lee Adama, because KT felt it was obviously not even a question.

“I wanna listen to your total owning by Aimee Vinmaison again,” Louanne said. “It is classic.”

KT would have ordered Louanne out of her apartment, but then she had to go and snuggle against KT in that way that made KT snuggle back.

“I’ve never been in a real famous person brawl before. I wanted to remember starting a feud, you know?” KT sulked, pressing play on her machine.

“Was that you tryin’ to sound clever on the message? Gods, I hope not, coz you failed something fierce, mate,” a broad Tauron accent informed KT. “Look, cunt, I know you know we’ve got unfinished bid-ness, right, coz I saw your stupid-lookin’ face this mornin’ hearing all about how stupid you are. Made m’day, watchin’ you almost cry coz you can’t even remember what you done. And you think you’re hard? You’re about as hard as butter!”

“Oh, please,” KT said. “That’s not an owning. That’s taunting. I don’t respond to taunting.”

Louanne started laughing hard. “Oh, whatever, you so plan to kick her ass now,” she said.

“Well, yeah,” KT replied, rolling her eyes. “But that’s to reclaim my dignity, not because I care that she called me hard as butter. What does that even mean? At least I don’t have a tasty breakfast of booze and crack followed by an eyeliner overdose every day.”

Her girlfriend patted her on the shoulder. “That’s right, honey. You tell that Aimee Vinmaison and her phone messages,” she said. “Cuz you’re hard. Hard like a stale loaf of bread.”

Kara looked up at the sky, hands uplifted to the gods. “Why me? Did I upset you somehow?” she asked. “Why you gotta give me a rivalry I don’t even remember and the mouthiest hoochie of a second-rate drummer to love? Huh?”

And when Louanne pouted and laughed at the same time, KT almost forgot that she still couldn’t remember why Aimee Vinmaison hated her. Because seriously. She had no idea at all.


“Sometimes, famous people grudges are like that,” said Laura, her glasses completely incongruous as she hummed, worked on her cover of the Aimee Vinmaison song, and chewed on the end of her pencil. “Remind me to tell you about the whole ten year thing I had with Deb because I stole her beer some time.”

She had been very philosophical and chill over the last couple of days. If KT was a betting woman, and didn’t know better, she’d think Laura was getting laid.

“You at least stole a beer. I didn’t even do that. I don’t think I should have to apologize for shit I didn’t do, though,” KT replied. “You know?”

“Sure,” Laura said. “Is that a new tattoo?”

“Maybe,” KT said, rubbing her upper arm sheepishly. “I was just…annoyed this afternoon. I needed to get it out somehow.”

“Okay,” Laura said. “Is it safe for the Saturni Night audience, or are you going to have to wear sleeves? Because as I recall, you hate wearing sleeves when you’re drumming, girl.”

“Just the woman symbol,” KT said sheepishly. “It’s for my girl, y’know?”

“I know,” said Laura, smiling slightly.

“Are you getting some?” asked KT. “You are like, so mellow that you’re almost comatose. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’m happy if you’re happy, but I do have to wonder what’s up with you?”

Laura paused and looked directly at KT. “I get to perform in front of an audience,” she said, almost growling. “It’s been a long, long time. And I cannot wait to show every last prick of a critic who thinks I’ve gone soft that I didn’t stop being a rock star because I dared to perform after forty.”

“Is it really that good for you?” KT asked.

“Better,” Laura replied breathlessly. “Ask Bill, sometime, if you don’t believe me about how powerful it can be. It’s one of the few things we agreed about even after things went bad.”

KT nodded, noticing that Laura had very, very deftly avoided the question. Interesting. So now she had two mystery lovers to unravel…was it that Laura and Sharon had finally ended one of those late-night jam sessions with drunken makeouts? Lee had probably just found one of the nerd girls who thought he was a sex god to take home, but Laura…well, that could be very, very interesting…


“So we come on before the Real News?” Natasi asked, perched on a craft services table and talking to one of the writers for Saturni Night. “I love that part — that’s always the funniest part of the show, especially when Teena did it.”

Who knew that Natasi harbored a small girl-crush on Teena Fay? KT had never guessed that Natasi actually cared about anything other than being hot and trying to get GB to stay faithful to her — a losing proposition, as far as everyone could tell.

The writer was looking at Natasi’s tits, of course, because somehow, no matter how many famous women he’d written for, spoken to, and seen, he was apparently one of those who kept it real by acting like a basement-dwelling virgin.

“Yep, that’s what you do,” he said. “Is it cool, playing in a band with La Roslin?”

Natasi shrugged. “She’s the real deal, yeah,” she said. “But who cares? I mean, if I were you, I’d spend all my time gawking around at the celebrities who work here!”

“Oh, I do,” the writer replied. “So, hey, you’re the drummer chick, right?”

KT nodded, gripping her cola tightly. “Yeah, I’m KT. Why?”

“Is it true that Aimee Vinmaison wants to kick your ass and left you some crazy phone message?” he asked.

“Yeah,” KT said. “I don’t even remember what happened, to tell the truth. I think she may have hallucinated the whole gods-damned thing.”

The writer licked his lips and nodded. “Yeah. Well. Yeah. Would you be offended if we’re doing a sketch about that, and we actually might, may have, gotten Aimee Vinmaison to be in the sketch?”

KT choked. “Are you serious?”

“Um. Fair warning. Please don’t hurt me,” the writer said, cowering as Natasi and KT glowered at him in unison.

“This never would have happened under the aegis of Teena Fay!” Natasi said, causing the writer to bust up laughing.

“Are you kidding me? There was absolutely nothing Teena liked more than a chick fight,” he said, shaking his head and pulling out his phone. “No, really. I will call her right now on her set and tell her to explain to you the glorious wonderment that is a girl fight.”

Natasi full-out pouted. “I hate being famous!” she wailed. “It demystifies every last person you admire.”

“Oh, no, Teena Fay loves chick fights. Your world is totally askew,” KT said, deadpan. “Let’s not forget these frakhammers brought Aimee Vinmaison on the show to start some shit with me.”

The writer made an apologetic gesture. “Saturni Night is the land of assholes, man,” he said.

“Yeah, frak that,” KT said. “I’m gonna go to my dressing room now. Because this rock star is not pleased with you assholes at all.”


“We need to find Laura right now,” KT snarled, stomping into her dressing room. “Aimee is here. She is going to be in a sketch. I want to know how just like with Good Morning Caprica City, everyone in the solar system knows this before me. Do they want that drunk bitch to glass me in the face for laughs or something?”

“Aww, baby,” Louanne said, looking up from sheet music. “Nobody wants that. You’re far too hot to get glassed.”

KT grinned, but pulled Louanne to her feet insistently. “We find Laura now. She needs to put a stop to these shenanigans,” she said. “Also, if we run into Aimee Vinmaison in the hall, we’re going to roll her and steal her wallet. That should make GB happy.”

Louanne looked like she had a whole novel’s worth of retorts about why she had no interest in making Gaius Baltar happy, with which KT mostly agreed, but she swallowed them and they went wandering around the Saturni Night offices, sets, and finally the stage where the first guests were going to be ushered in about half an hour later.

“Oh. My gods,” Louanne whispered, gouging KT in the ribs.

“What?” KT asked. “Is it Aimee?”

Louanne’s eyes were glassy as she shook her head. “KT, oh my gods, oh my gods, look over there and shut the frak up, bitch,” she said, pointing. “Oh. MY GODS.”

KT swiveled, expecting to see like, GB having sex with Aimee Vinmaison, or members of the band revealing themselves as Cylons. Because those things were believable. Or plausible.

Totally not plausible was Lee with his hand down Laura’s jeans, his mouth on her neck. And yet KT’s eyes were sending that info to her brain. Oh, frak, he was licking her earlobe!

“Did Aimee Vinmaison hit me really hard in the head?” KT whispered. “Did we kill a bottle of ambrosia I don’t remember? Maybe d.Anna shared some of her fun drugs?”

Louanne shook her head, nudging Kara hard. “Oh my gods, he’s going to go down on her just before the audience shows up,” she hissed. “Frak, isn’t he like her son? I mean, he’s hot in kind of a butch girl way. But he’s twenty years younger than her and kind of a puss. And like, her son!”

“Stepson and oh my gods. Bill is going to. Bill is going to–” KT made a face, throwing her hands up in the air and wiggling her fingers. “There will have to be large checks written to charities, is all I’m saying.”

It was worse than a train wreck. Because it was kind of hot. Maybe it was even hotter because of the whole ex-stepmother thing, or because they were into it, they were both into it big time. Blood was rushing into Kara’s cheeks, and Louanne’s mouth hung open, shamelessly gawking.

“It turns me on a little,” she said. “I mean, Lee wanting to be someone’s pretty boy toy, that’s obvious. Laura having a big ol’ exhibitionist streak? Semi-obvious. But I wouldn’t have pegged her as someone who got off on the sheer chutzpah of it all.”

“And I wouldn’t have guessed you liked to watch, but here you are, getting wet,” KT replied, attention drawn away from Lee and Laura’s performance by something much, much juicier. “Did you like watching when I was with d.Anna, babe?”

Louanne’s teeth grazed across her lower lip in a naughty sly smile. “There was so much pretty to see and touch,” she replied coyly, slightly baby-voiced and definitely hungry.

KT leaned forward and kissed the side of her neck before biting on it lightly. “I know what pretty I wanna touch,” she whispered, licking the outside of Louanne’s ear for good measure. “But I don’t think it’s any fun to play all exposed when I have a nice lockable dressing room with a nice soft chair to put you on.”

Her hand slipped around and cupped one of Louanne’s breasts, squeezing. Louanne made kittenish mews, rubbing back eagerly. Kara pinched on the point of nipple hidden just beneath her girlfriend’s clothes hard…and then let go.

“Oh, come the frak on, Kara,” Louanne whined.

“Come with me, or don’t come,” KT answered brutally. “I don’t feel like watching Lee get laid.”

“Yeah, I’m sure that you’re pissed at Laura for frakking Lee,” Louanne said, reluctantly turning away and leaning against Kara.

“Yeah, well, maybe I think they’re both stupid,” KT said, pouting. “And crazy. Did I mention crazy? Totally crazy.”

Louanne put her hand on KT’s mouth. “Save it for practice, bitch,” she said. “Or for when you next run into Aimee Vinmaison and want to sass back. I just want to see you perform for me tonight, and know that you can’t wait to finally get me off.”

KT bit down on Louanne’s finger and sucked it into her mouth. Oh, yeah, now her baby had her going just the way she wanted.

“I want you waiting for me after the show,” KT murmured as they wandered away from the strangely compelling wrongness. “Because I’m going to be so good tonight that you’re going to be wet before I lay a finger on you.”

“Brag,” Louanne said.

“Oh, yeah,” KT said, kissing the other girl on the mouth. “My ass will pay the check my mouth is writing, baby. Just you wait and see.”


They were waiting backstage together, watching the sketches on a monitor. Laura and Sharon were smoking a cigarette together (well, Laura was watching Sharon smoke and rubbing her fingers together with the twitch of a denied smoker), d.Anna was twisting her hands around and around, and Natasi was doing her meditation-slash-prayer thing that she did to get “centered.”

KT was bouncing, looking at Laura, looking away, and then looking back.

“You’re being pretty good for someone who’s about to be roasted on live television,” d.Anna said. “Even before she gets to make her live television debut.”

“I got things on my mind. Plus, I made a promise to Louanne that I was gonna play so good she’d be squirming before we finished the first song,” KT said, tapping out the rhythm on the edge of a table. “So I found out, you know, who Lee’s frakking.”

“Not Stacey-from-the-label?” Sharon asked, looking up.

“No. Not Stacey from the label,” KT said with a vigorous nod. “Stacey from the label is doing Billy Kekeiya.”

“Who, then?” Natasi asked, unwinding and stretching out, graceful as a dancer. “I am a little bit curious. Lee’s a nice guy, but…”

KT glanced at Laura, who wasn’t even sweating.

“You don’t even care, do you?” KT asked her, tilting her head slightly.

“Lee’s an adult,” Laura said with a serene shrug. “I’d say his sex life was his business. Not his father’s, and not yours.”

“Oh, come on, was it like, Teena Fay or something?” Natasi asked curiously. d.Anna was shifting her gaze between Laura and KT, and rolled her eyes expressively. She got it, at least. “Wait. Oh, frak, I just now got it. I’m so bad at reading everyone’s subtext.”

“I’m worse!” Sharon said, flailing slightly. “I have no idea what anyone is talking about, besides that Lee apparently had sex with someone really cool or really frakked up, and Laura thinks that KT is being immature by bringing it up.”

“You are sometimes so naive that it hurts to know you, Boomer,” d.Anna said. “Just keep being the best guitarist in the world, because then you never have to understand overtones, babe.”

“D.Anna, just because Sharon doesn’t immediately realize that KT was practically bouncing to tattle on me and Lee doesn’t mean she’s naive,” Laura said. “Also, you are all completely harshing the incredible high I am on, and if I don’t have the best performance in a decade, I am going to be very disappointed.”

Boomer’s mouth made a little O. But not, to her credit, for the reason everyone else would’ve.

“Oh, hey, isn’t that Aimee Vinmaison on the monitor?” she asked, pointing. The band turned around, blinking.

“Oh, yeah, they brought her on to make fun of me,” KT said with a shrug. “I was going to tattle about the shenanigans, and I kind of stumbled onto lead singer happy fun time.”

“Oh, holy crap, I don’t think they’re making fun of you, KT,” Boomer said breathlessly.

Laura shifted suddenly. “Well. Not exactly,” she said. “Excuse me, I’m on.”

She practically flew out of the room before the PA could cue her, leaving him staring at the rest of the band, who was staring at the monitor.

“Is she defusing the situation for me?” KT asked in a tiny voice.

“Yes, yes she is,” Sharon said. “She really sleeping with Lee?”

“Yes, yes she is,” KT said.

“You’re kind of a bitch, KT,” Sharon said.

“I know,” KT said, noticing that Laura had excellent comic timing and did the soused rock star persona a little too well. “So I’m going to rock so hard that she forgives me.”

“I think that might be wise,” d.Anna said, snorting with amusement. “Hey, who here knew Laura was funny? I didn’t know that.”


Her shirt stuck to her skin.

It had been the best performance of her life. The Saturni Night audience had gone wild, their cheers still echoing in KT’s ears.

Maybe the gods had intervened. It had certainly felt god-like, that trip on the drums. The sticks had become instruments of the gods in her hands, sweat flying off her brow while Boomer tore into a riff that dove off a cliff and then leveled into sweet perfection against the hard-driving bass, and the ways Natasi worked synth in hadn’t been annoying, it had been dirty, it had been funk to inspire KT harder and Laura, oh gods, Laura had taken that mic stand and made love to it.

And frakking hell, of course Aimee V would be waiting for her in the corridors on the way to her nice dressing room and naked girlfriend.

“I’m sorry I spilled a drink on you, but considering your best love songs are about booze, I don’t get why you’re so frakking pissed,” KT growled. “So unless you wanna rumble, step the frak off, Aimee.”

Aimee Vinmaison would have been a tiny woman, were it not for the enormous tower of black hair sitting atop her head, elaborately coiffed. That, plus her perma-snarl and eyeliner, gave her a heft that she didn’t really deserve, being scrawny and tiny. Also, Kara was impressed to see that Aimee had more tattoos than she did, and Kara loved tats.

“You stupid cunt, we’ve never met before in our lives,” Aimee replied, rolling her eyes. “I planted that rumor of your audacious behavior because the gossip hags would believe it and I needed an excuse to talk to you.”

KT’s face creased into annoyed disbelief. “Bitch, we’re both super-famous,” she replied, trying not to punch the woman for harshing her buzz. “I’m sure our people could have conferenced and we could have gotten freak-wasted together without dubbing me the club-drink brawler in the meantime.”

“Your entire band except for you is Cylon,” Aimee said. “I’m trying to warn you, cow. It’s your frakking destiny, and I don’t think you should give a girl lip for trying to help you with your destiny and somefink. Slag.”

“My entire band is Cylon?” KT sneered. “Hey, Aimee, next time they tell you to go to rehab, how about saying yes, yes, yes?”

“Oh, I ain’t heard that before,” Aimee said. “Are you listening to me, now? Your band is all Cylons, mate. All of them. You are the one bitch in all the universe who can stop them. And you’re trying to take the piss, you silly moo?”

“I don’t much cotton to hearing about how my friends and bandmates are Cylons from a drunken, drug-addled elf with enormous hair when I could be in my dressing room, getting frakked by my incredibly hot girlfriend,” snarled Kara. “And I sure as hell don’t have a destiny, mate. So frak off.”

KT wouldn’t do anything so exciting as knock the bitch down, but she did elbow Aimee Vinmaison right out of her way and continued on her way, despite Aimee Vinmaison shouting, “I told that wanker Leo you didn’t give two shits about no Cylons, but I had to tell you or he wouldn’t fix me up, innit? But you talk to Leo. He’s your girl D’s dealer…he’ll tell you. See if he doesn’t.”

“Whatever,” Kara snarled, kicking the door of her dressing room open, pulling off her shirt and throwing it into the hall. “Hey, you.”

Louanne didn’t seem to be wearing a shirt. Or a bra. And she had her hands running up and over her tits.

“I almost came when you did that solo during Get Back,” she said quietly. “I couldn’t stop licking my lips the whole time. It was good, Kara, it was way good.”

KT closed the door and grinned. “I think we can make it way, way better,” she said, shimmying the jeans off her hips. “Come here.”

They could try to make her have a destiny, but Kara was not going to go, go, go.


There was a lot of moaning after that. KT made sure not to get so drunk or bombed that she lost any part of the experience of sweaty skin, bite marks all over the most sensitive patch of Louanne’s thighs…

They had found this hot-as-frak girl at an after-hours club, Kendra something, with angry dark eyes and a faux-hawk, and hips that were as fluid as smoke, writhing as her heels dug into Louanne’s back, wrists caught in KT’s grasp.

And they’d wandered home to KT’s place in the cool air of a Caprica City autumn, practically steaming, coats thrown open as Louanne turned dizzy circles, giggling madly as they stumbled toward the apartment.

“Love you,” Louanne said. “Wanna stay up all night with you.”

“Oh yeah?” KT asked, seizing Louanne by the waist and pulling her in, devouring that smart mouth with hers. “I’m game if you are.”

They’d fallen hard against her mattress, her skinny little mattress-on-the-floor that counted as her bed, because that’s how Kara rolled, tearing each other’s clothes off.

The upshot of it was that KT forgot all about Aimee Vinmaison. And sleep. And about anything other than how good it was to be a rock star.


“So,” said Boomer to KT the next afternoon. “I heard that you actually ran into your nemesis last night. What did she have to say for herself?”

“That all you bitches are Cylons and it’s my destiny to give you the beat-down,” KT replied, sipping on a mineral water.

Boomer blinked. KT didn’t get it; Boomer looked spooked about something instead of laughing. Cuz what, they were all Cylons now?

“She said we’re all Cylons?” she asked, half-stammering. “But…hasn’t Laura been famous for decades? I thought bio-Cylons didn’t get developed until…that’s dumb. Aimee isn’t very smart, is she?”

“Well, she said her frakking dealer, this guy named Leo, told her to tell me, so she was probably coked out of her brain,” KT said with a shrug as Boomer froze stiff. “What?”

“Oh my frakking god. Gods,” Boomer said, her mouth dropping slowly. “Oh my frakking gods, that guy Leo? The twitchy skinny one who deals to d.Anna? Oh my gods, KT. Did you even turn on a vidscreen this morning?”

“Seriously, what?” KT asked, exasperated. “Look, some of us frakked our way across last night in a booze and Aimee Vinmaison beating down haze, okay?”

And why was Boomer giving KT shit anyway? Because KT was screwing around? Whatever: Sharon was a serial fleet-frakker. She had totally jumped on this guy, Galen, and when he was out in the black, she was getting on this other dude, Helo, who was a cool guy for military. He kept joking KT would be a badass fighter pilot and stuff.

Gods help them if they ever saw Sharon during fleet week.

“They arrested d.Anna’s dealer. And then totally revealed him as a Cylon,” Boomer said. “Also, two things. I think I’m pregnant, and I kind of think maybe I’m a Cylon.”

Kara, who was mid-swallow on her water, choked all over the table and their organic, super-healthy salads they were eating to power-cleanse.

“I…I…there are no words, Sharon. None. Why would you think you’re a Cylon, you dumb-ass hooker? What, do you have an evil twin who follows you around?” KT said with a sneer. “Did you take d.Anna’s special drugs?”

Sharon somehow did not seem to realize that she was completely supposed to admit to drug use or a prank. Seriously. That guy from ‘Pranked’ needed to show up with his pretty hair and small brain before KT’s heart beat right through her chest.

“Did you SEE her?” Sharon asked uneasily. “I have a stalker. Who looks like me. And who I know, in my head, wants to kidnap me and take my place in the band.”

“This isn’t funny, Boomer,” KT snarled.

“I know. I think…I think we need to talk to everyone,” Boomer said. “Because I don’t know. Maybe there’s a reason we’ve been drawn together.”

“Because everyone in our band is a Cylon, a girlfrakker, or both? Because the gods, or your crazy-ass one god, needed a girlfrakking Cylon band?” KT asked. “Kara Thrace and the Destiny Dykes. I am sure that’s likely.”

Sharon’s face was expressionless. “It’s not funny, KT. I really think it might be true,” she said. “At least, I think I am. And I think I need to tell everyone about the stalker.”

So did KT.

“Fine,” KT said. “But unless you want to find yourself in permanent rehab, I wouldn’t let anyone on the label…or either of your potential babydaddies…even guess what you were thinking.”

“Fine,” Sharon said curtly. She didn’t seem happy, which was fair, because KT wouldn’t be happy if she were a pregnant Cylon with a clone stalker, but KT was just trying to help.

“Fine,” KT retorted, sinking back into her chair.

Gods, why her? Was it so wrong to have the simple goal of rocking out, having lots of slippery hot sex with Louanne and various accessories (including other hot women), and not being three months behind on rent doing it?

Fame. Awesome except for the part where it stank all the time.

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