Kind of Noticeable
Fandom: Birds of Prey
Rating: R (language)
Disclaimer: DC Comics, a bunch of various writers, and so on, own Babs and Dinah. I only covet them.
Summary: The girls taunt each other into macking.
“Oh, that’s not even possible,” Dinah said immediately. She was looking at her hair critically, twisting it back and forth, while Barbara dished out the latest of their adventures in take-out onto plates. “That’s the kind of crap Penthouse makes up. ‘Just thinking about my boyfriend’s hot cock made me cum!’ and of course that’s spelled c-u-m…”
“Why do people feel the need to spell it that way?” Babs asked, rolling her eyes. “But come on, you’ve never heard of thinking off? A sex study used a whole bunch of women who could to look at orgasmic brain patterns.”
“I just don’t buy it,” Dinah said, taking her plate from Babs gratefully and sprawling onto the couch. “Sex is physical. It’s not mental. What? You’re laughing. It’s not mental!”
“Oh, just because you’re suddenly Jane to your man’s Tarzan doesn’t mean we all shut off the brain during sex,” Babs answered, rolling herself into the room next to Dinah. “You’re telling me you’ve never gotten so hot and heavy from some fantasy that you must immediately get some or die?”
“From fantasizing? No. But now I’m wondering about the fantasy life of Oracle,” Dinah said, between bites of kimchee. “Do you even know what half of these are?”
“Side dishes,” Babs said, straight-faced. Dinah snorted and ate another few bites of side dish, apparently quite happy with them.
“Side dishes,” Dinah said. “So, fantasy life. I need to know. Does it involve a lot of heavy breathing and the latest electronic gadget? Maybe multiple greased-up exes?”
Babs flung something at Dinah from the end of her chopstick. “We didn’t need the greased-up bit, Dinah,” she said.
“What good is a naked fantasy ex if he’s not greased up and ready to go?” Dinah inquired with a faux-innocent smile.
“So you’re saying that you should be naked and greased up in the fantasy life of Ollie? Or Lady Shiva?” Babs asked, meeting her partner’s faux-innocent grin and raising her an eyebrow. Dinah chuckled. “What, Lady Shiva’s not an ex?”
“Oh, oh, so we’re playing dirty tonight?” Dinah asked with a playful tilt to her chin. “Speaking of exes, your ex Power Girl is more bitter than Nightwing and Jason Bard COMBINED. What did you do, leave her blue-balled and begging?”
“DINAH!” Babs said, blushing, as Dinah cackled and pumped her fist into the air.
“Winner!” she said, laughing hard. “Oh, Power Girl. You’re always good for something. Even if it’s just pointing out that Babs is a worse ex-girlfriend than I am.”
“Oh, that’s just bitchy,” Babs said, glaring at Dinah. “You’re being really mean to Karen.”
“Karen is like the definition of bitter, that’s why,” Dinah said. “It’s kind of noticeable.”
Babs shook her head. “So if Power Girl’s bitter ex-girlfriendness is noticeable, what are we?” she asked.
“Xena and Gabrielle?” Dinah said. She paused. “Um. Did I just say that?”
“I was thinking Sam and Janet,” Babs said, putting her hand over her face. “You know, from Stargate?”
Dinah laughed. “Sweetie, that’s one you should have tried on Ted, not me,” she said, running a hand through her hair. “Shit, we are so dating, aren’t we?”
“Possibly we’re married,” Babs said. “Well, fantasy-married. I’m thinking a hero marriage would be so much less idyllic than this. There would be fighting over who watched the kids and who fought crime, and then you have to think about Batman arguing with Catwoman over whose turn it is to do the dishes…”
Dinah’s sheepish grin and tilted-back head matched Babs’s red face and refusal to meet Dinah’s eyes.
“This is kind of not where I thought this conversation would go,” Dinah confessed after some awkward silence. “I was just trying to make fun of your sexy dreams.”
“Yeah, I was thinking that was the point,” Babs said, looking at her hands as if they were the most interesting things in the universe. “Though for the record, my sexy dreams are varied and interesting.”
“Do I do awesome things in them?” Dinah asked, perking up.
“Oh, my God, you didn’t just say that!” Babs said with a little shriek.
Dinah smirked, stood up, and began posing, waggling her ass and tilting her head. “You know you dream of me,” she sing-songed, twisting and turning. “I am long, lean, and I rock your world. I bet you’d get all hot and bothered if I took my shirt off.”
Babs rolled her eyes, but Dinah immediately seized the hem of her own shirt and pulled it up slowly, right to the bottom of her own breasts, Babs watching every last second.
“Are you quite finished?” Babs asked.
“Unless you want to tell me what I’d do next in your fantasies,” Dinah answered, trying hard to keep a straight face.
Babs suddenly smiled, a seductive-as-hell look that started at her mouth but warmed up her eyes, her posture — and to Dinah’s surprise, the look sent goosebumps down Dinah’s spine.
And when Babs crooked her little finger in the “come here” gesture, Dinah’s mouth went dry as she came there.
“I’ve got one fantasy,” she purred. “It’s so sexy I don’t even need to do anything but think about it…”
“Yeah?” Dinah asked, trying to sound tough and teasing. But even to her own ears, she just sounded interested.
“Yeah,” Babs said. “You wanna know what it is? I mean, really. You sure you wanna know what gets me happy?”
“Uh-huh,” Dinah said. “Yeah, I really do.”
Babs made a long noise of satisfaction as she smiled up at her partner. “It’s the thought of you…getting a little closer and…doing the dishes,” she said.
Dinah choked. “You are…such…a cunt-tease,” she managed to choke out as Babs smilingly put her plate into Dinah’s hands. “I’m, I’m, I’m gonna get you for this, Oracle. My swift and sure Canary justice will come down like…something swift and sure.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” Babs said, looking insufferably smug. “Go on, do the dishes. Just looking at you, ready to do housework, has me so hot…”
“This is why Power Girl hates you,” Dinah said snippily. “Lady Shiva never would have done that to me. Lady Shiva might have choked me for insolence or just kicks, but then there would have been aggressive assassin sex.”
“You so didn’t screw her,” Babs said, following Dinah as she headed for a sink. “She’s a villain, and you hate her.”
“Haven’t you ever had hate sex?” Dinah asked, humming to herself and putting the dishes in the sink with a squirt of soak and a splash of water. “It’s actually kind of hot. The only sex that is better is make-up sex, which I’m sure YOU know, what with your Nightwing issues.”
“I know you didn’t! You…you have better taste than that,” Babs said, sounding huffy.
“Oh, you’re jealous, cuz you know that Lady Shiva and I would be hot together,” Dinah said, scrubbing the plates. “And flexible. Very flexible. I bet she wouldn’t have had me wash dishes instead of strip-tease. It would be a waste of my abilities, or something.”
Babs was practically choking on her righteous indignation and jealousy, and Dinah was back to giggling to herself. There were quite a few benefits to knowing her partner-slash-wife as well as she did.
“I’m not jealous,” she lied.
“Mmm-hmm,” Dinah said, finishing up the dishes, turning around, and planting her mouth on Babs’s, dishpan hands and all.
Babs did not disappoint. The kiss wasn’t aggressive — not exactly — but it was determined. Pressure, the dart of tongue against teeth and then tongue against tongue, just the right pull of Babs’s hand against Dinah’s head, that tiny whimper of delight for both of them when they came up for air…
As first kisses went, it was pretty damn good.
“I’m not,” Babs insisted. “I just don’t like to hear about how my partner’s claiming anyone else could do it better.”
“Not better,” Dinah replied, stroking Babs’s cheek. “She just would never ask me to wash the dishes when she was really after hot hot Dinah poon.”
“Well,” and Babs chuckled warmly, “Nothing’s hotter than a lover who can be trusted to do the dishes, too. So her. loss.”
And then Babs licked her lips.
And Dinah was just open-mouthed with how much she was all about it.
“You are a witch,” Dinah grumbled. “I can see that I’m going to have to teach you to respect my sex-bomb nature.”
Dinah grabbed Babs by the back of the head just as Babs put her hand on Dinah’s hip, and that second kiss was a balancing act, Dinah not wanting to just plow into Babs and knock the chair any which way while maintaining the fevered kiss, one that teased and tickled lips and jaws and tongues with heavy breathing and low moans.
As second kisses went, Dinah wasn’t complaining.
But as for that third kiss…she wanted a little more. And she was willing to play dirty to get it.
“Tell me this isn’t better than fantasy,” she whispered into Babs’s ear, before giving it a lick.
“We’ll see once I get my pesky brain involved,” Babs answered, hand twined around Dinah’s. “You might never have a thoughtless fuck again.”
“Either way,” and Dinah felt a warm shiver go over her, “We’ll definitely see.”