Partners in Crime
Disclaimer: A bunch of men who are not me own the various shows.
Summary: Hot girls go running around, talk a lot of trash, and then make out in sports bras.
Atlantis is a pretty good gig for a Slayer, Faith’s gotta say. Not that she thinks a stake to the chest’s going to take out the Wraith, but there’s all kinds of space demon-y things that Giles and Watcher Central will cream their jeans over, and the place is pretty cool. Sheppard mostly stays out of the way and tries to be cool, McKay’s an almighty douchebag but the minute Faith gave him a Watcher manuscript with the bits about the Ancients he shut the hell up, and nobody knows what the fuck’s up with Weir.
Plus, Faith’s got partners in crime now. She’s not the only oddball on the station — apparently they get more refugees than Ellis Island on a regular basis. The new people have magic faster-than-light travel and are running from killer robots who look like humans and Faith kind of tuned out because Lee Adama’s like Angel but without the lifetimes of cool and triple the brood.
Why nobody’s suspected him of being the robot, she doesn’t know, but hey, whatever.
Back to partners in crime. About two weeks into Faith’s trip to outer space, Lee Adama was giving them the whole briefing on Cylons and the danger among us, and Faith saw this girl rolling her eyes. Faith looked at her and grinned, and this girl, all short blond hair and attitude like some kind of butch Buffy, smirked back at her.
“You’re the one with magical powers,” blonde girl said when Faith sauntered up after the briefing. “You kill vampires or something?”
“Mostly I go on missions and shoot up shit,” Faith said. “At some point, if we find demons, I might get to use my fists and my stake. But even I ain’t crazy enough to stake a Wraith.”
“I heard you were crazy enough for about anything else,” Blondie said. “Hey. I’m Starbuck.”
“Faith,” Faith answered, pretending not to be impressed. “You’re the crazy bitch that’s got all that prophecy shit attached to her, right?”
“Frak yeah,” Starbuck had said, and it wasn’t so long before Starbuck and Faith were sparring every day. Because who else were they gonna fight with?
And that’s how they met up with Laura — well, Cadman, because Starbuck says calling anyone Laura reminds her of their crazy-ass president, who has politely taken over for Weir and who Starbuck says will probably politely take over Earth because she’s bitch-ass bored with the Pegasus Galaxy already.
But their Laura, Laura Cadman? She saw them brawling street-style, and came right up during one of their training sessions.
“So, you two exclusive or can anyone join in if they’re willing to play hard?” she said, hair pulled back in a French braid and wearing a really hot sports bra and a pair of track pants that were riding low on her hips.
“Who the hell are you?” Faith asked, looking the redhead over and thinking that she wouldn’t mind getting her hands on that.
“Laura Cadman,” she said.
They both knew the name, and eyebrows were raised.
“The tap-dancing explosives expert who fucked with McKay?” Faith asked. “Shit, I was beginning to think you were just a legend. Something Shep uses on McKay to fuck with his twitchy little head.”
“I’m real, even though Rodney wishes I weren’t,” Cadman said. “And you’re Faith, and you are Starbuck.”
Starbuck faked at the bag and grinned. “That’s right,” she said. “So why don’t you show us what you can do, Cadman?”
What Cadman can do is run, and both Starbuck and Faith have had to run hard to keep up with her for a whole morning. Faith’s been hitting the cigarettes hard, and Starbuck’s introduced her to cigars and it’s taken a toll on their lungs.
Plus, their runs have been the best for going exploring through the city and getting to talk about shit. Cadman’s on this whole trip about getting TV nobody else on the station can get except by going through her. Right now it’s The Boondocks — and oh, she is giving Shep shit about that.
Faith and Starbuck both approve. It’s not as fun as fucking with McKay or Lee, but Shep is all pouty and is claiming that it would be valuable for Ronon and Teyla to see.
“Why does Shep think he’s fucking Timberlake?” Faith asks, putting on her communicator and stretching out. They’re going through a really obscure part of the city and possibly reporting back to Weir.
“Commander Sheppard’s, um, dedicated to cultural diversity,” Cadman says with a snort. “Plus, he’s got that thuggin’ love.”
She busts into song — I got that thuggin’ love — and Cadman can sing, so both Starbuck and Faith giggle.
“Yeah, I got some thuggin’ love right here,” Starbuck says, play-faking at Faith. “I am going to whip both your asses on time this morning. I’m pumped up with thuggin’ love.”
“Oh, I’m sure,” Faith says. “See your dumb ass on the flip side, space cowgirl.”
They all three go running off in different directions, and pretty soon Faith is looking around and trying to remember numbers and shit so that McKay can bitch at her for being a crappy observer.
“So what is thuggin’ love, anyway?” Starbuck asks, her breath hard in between words. “We don’t have that on the Colonies.”
“Well, uh,” and Cadman snickers, “It’s a special kind of love between very manly men. I suppose if say, Ronon Dex and Caldwell got down, that would almost be thuggin’ love.”
“Oh, frak that,” Starbuck says. “We’re harder than those two. Though you can’t really argue with the image of naked Ronon.”
And while that was true, the image in Faith’s head’s even prettier — sweaty Starbuck wrestling with Cadman. Starbuck pinning Cadman’s wrists right over her head and threatening torture.
“He’s hot,” Cadman says.
“Yeah,” Starbuck agrees.
“Yeah, sound a little more enthused, ladies,” Faith says with a sarcastic snort. “I gotta admit, right now I’m about ready to pop. No slaying, not nearly enough sex — the only way to get sweaty is screwing around with you guys.”
There’s a big long silence. “Oh, really?” Starbuck finally says. “Do you like getting sweaty with us, Faith?”
“Oh, sir, I love it when you try to blind me with your stinky pits,” Faith says. “Your lack of basic hygiene totally makes me want to strip you naked and hose you down, Starbuck baby.”
“Hey, no hosing me until you buy me dinner first,” Starbuck replies.
“And what about me, huh? I’m totally the hottest one of all three of us,” Cadman says, her breathing still hard. “Anyone got a hose for me?”
“Yeah, I got a hose for you if you want it,” Faith counters, turning a corner and totally forgetting to note whatever lame-ass symbol’s on it. If McKay really cares, his tubby ass can walk down here himself. “And you may be hot, but I got the best tits of the group by far.”
“No, I completely missed that, the way you’ve got ’em up in my face all the time,” Cadman says snottily. “Bounce bounce bounce.”
“Hey, you gotta work what God gave you,” Faith replies, thinking that she has to get the three of them to LA sometime. There could be clubbing — and the idea of Starbuck in a skintight pair of jeans and a black tank top, sliding up against Faith while Faith’s hands work on the ties on Cadman’s little frilly shirt is making Faith hotter than any workout.
Cuz damn, Faith would know how to work that, just grind down dirty and hard, letting herself get between them, and then sliding out of the way so Starbuck could offer a thigh for Cadman to slide against and Faith could brush up against Starbuck just to watch the bitch squirm.
“You still with us, Faith?” Starbuck asks.
“I am having a hell of a time concentrating on all the wanky Ancient bullshit we’re supposed to give a damn about,” Faith says. “I’m hypnotized by the hotness of my own tits or something.”
“Oh yeah, tell us about that some more,” Cadman says. “Seriously, how hard up are you? It’s not like half the Marines on Atlantis wouldn’t fuck you and thank you later, Faith.”
Faith snorts and runs a little harder, thinking about how Cadman shimmies when she walks, how those hips show off her attitude, and how Starbuck’s got legs like a goddamn supermodel.
“Mmm, pointless lays,” Faith says. “What about you two? You two completely satisfied with your Hitachi magic wands or something?”
“A lady doesn’t frak and tell,” Starbuck says.
“So you’re giving us your list?” Cadman counters, and damn, Faith loves that about Laura — she’s a smartass. A mouth on her like nobody’s business, and Faith could see it latching onto Starbuck’s breast while Starbuck arched and grunted.
“Oh, screw you,” Starbuck replies. “There’s more to life than getting off.”
“What, you never had a multiple?” Faith says.
“Maybe your boyfriend was just shitty in the sack,” Cadman adds.
God, this is fun, even though Faith now really needs a visit to the shower with the useful showerhead because it’s like porno Christmas in her head. Starbuck’s got her head all thrown back, and Cadman’s tongue is trailing down her flat tummy and tugging at the strings of those ratty sweatpants Starbuck loves too much, and Faith doesn’t know why, but she’s content to watch them go at it.
“My boyfriends did just fine,” Starbuck says huffily. “I never got any complaints.”
“Who the hell cares if they complained?” Faith says. “Get some and get gone, that’s what I say.”
But it would be way too much fun to get up behind Starbuck and lick the backs of her knees just when Cadman had started to work Starbuck’s pussy with her tongue, then just slide up Starbuck’s body until Starbuck was rocking against her…
“Mmmm, casual sex,” Cadman says cheerfully. “God, I almost wish it was acceptable to have fuckbuddies.”
“Who the frak says it’s not?” Starbuck replies.
“Oh, like that ever works out,” Faith says. “Nothing gets people fucked over more than believing THIS time, it’ll work.”
“Boys should be more like us,” Cadman says.
Faith doesn’t even want to think about boys; she wants to think of Cadman licking Starbuck clean while Starbuck writhes in Faith’s grip, cussing and moaning her head off. Faith would be sucking on her neck because Faith likes to leave marks. Not big ones, just kind of a sign. Faith was here, and she’s not going to be topped.
“Oh, that’s nice,” Starbuck suddenly says in a little whimpery voice, and Faith’s a little bit curious, enough that she doesn’t ask what’s nice. Because okay, if Faith’s psychic and has been sharing her sex fantasies, that’s going to be awkward, and if not, well, Faith’s going to want to see what’s up.
So Faith slows down. Uses Slayer reflexes to slide down corridors, until she can practically smell them.
And it’s really nice, because fuck, Starbuck’s got Cadman pinned up against a wall and she’s fumbling with the sports bra. Cadman’s trying not to moan, but she’s doing a really shitty job at it.
“What are you, easily turned on or just not sharing?” Faith asks, one hand on her hip and the other brushing against her thigh. They’re even hotter than she’d hoped for — Cadman’s already flushed and Starbuck’s mouth is all swollen.
“We bumped into each other,” Starbuck says. “Pretty, huh? She tastes good. Wanna try?”
Oh, hell. Faith could come just hearing Starbuck say that, but instead she walks up and licks Cadman, a nice long swish of her tongue over Laura’s collarbone. Cadman moans and tilts her hips up like a complete slut.
Fortunately for her, Faith is totally into sluts.
“I bet she’s soaking wet,” Faith tells Starbuck. “Total ho that she is.”
“Bite me,” Cadman gasps. “Bitch.”
Starbuck does, nipping at her earlobe, and Cadman moans.
“Mmm, juicy Cadman filling for our sandwich,” Starbuck says, reaching over and pressing an index finger into Faith’s breast. “You kind of have the best ideas, Faith.”
“Yeah, you just want to enjoy the rare pleasure of having two hotties get you off more than once,” Faith says with a chuckle, pulling off her bra and watching Cadman’s eyes narrow with lust. “They’re up in your face now, Laura. Bounce bounce bounce.”
“Oh, now you’re just a dirty cunt-tease,” Cadman whines. “Come on.”
“Bounce bounce bounce,” Faith says irrepressibly. “I thought you didn’t like having these babies right where you could…”
Starbuck pulls Faith in and kisses her hard, and Cadman, not to be outdone, starts sucking on the back of Faith’s neck, putting her hands on Faith’s breasts and squeezing as her hips rock up against Faith’s ass.
“You talk a lot of shit,” Starbuck growls into Faith’s ear, hot and stinking of girlsweat and girlparts and God DAMN, Faith cannot wait to fuck her. “I think it’s time Cadman and me took you down a notch, little girl. You want that?”
“And we’re going to make you holler,” Cadman adds, twisting Faith’s left nipple between two fingers. “You’re going to come so hard it’s going to wake up the Wraith.”
Faith arches her back and shudders. “Do your worst, bitches,” she says, letting her head loll back as the two other caballeros start stripping her naked with long, hungry fingers.
Because Faith’s got the feeling their worst is pretty good, and she’s happy to go along for the ride.