Fandom: Grey’s Anatomy
Pairing: Callie/Erica, Cristina/Owen, George/Lexie UST, Mer/Der
Spoilers: Brave New World
Disclaimer: All television shows, movies, books, and other copyrighted material referred to in this work, and the characters, settings, and events thereof, are the properties of their respective owners. As this work is an interpretation of the original material and not for-profit, it constitutes fair use. Reference to real persons, places, or events are made in a fictional context, and are not intended to be libelous, defamatory, or in any way factual.
Summary: Cristina and Callie have a housewarming party. Hijinks ensue.
“Should we have a housewarming party?” Callie asked Cristina three weeks after their boxes were delivered to their new apartment, which was also two days after they finished putting their stuff up.
“Does that mean someone has to cook?” Cristina asked.
Callie made a face at her housemate. “God, no,” she said. “It means we get drunk and make our friends bring us crap we’ll never use.”
Cristina pondered this. “Could we make our friends bring us alcohol and food?” she asked. “Because that’s the only way I see this idea working.”
“Sure. Price of admission to Callie and Cristina’s awesome apartment party — one bottle of booze,” Callie said.
Cristina nodded. “Great. Now we just have the problem of my friends and your friends hating each other,” she said. “Because I don’t see your bestest friend in the world Hahn coming to hang out with Meredith and George and Izzie and so on.”
Callie wrinkled her nose. “George?” she asked. “Why would I invite my ex-husband to my party anyway?”
“Hey, it’s not my fault you married and then divorced the twerp,” Cristina said. “If I invite Meredith and Izzie and Alex, and George doesn’t get to come, he will whine. He will think you hate him.”
“George cheated on me and ended our marriage,” Callie said. “Does that no longer qualify for haterade?”
“Hahn managed to keep me off cardio until the chief instituted these new stupid rules,” Cristina said. “I bet I hate her more than you hate O’Malley. Plus, she threatened to cut Meredith’s heart out with a steak knife. A steak knife. That’s verbal assault. Meredith could get her sent to jail.”
All of this was getting too complicated and political for Callie. She’d just wanted to have a party, invite Erica, get drunk, and then screw her silly in her shiny new bedroom in a way that discreetly indicated that they were an item. She figured “the coven” (Erica’s new, mean, and way too accurate description of the residents that clustered around Meredith Grey) would run with it, get their gossip on, and then there would be no weird public announcement of dating.
But everyone would know and Erica would have to deal and Callie could say, “my girlfriend” without getting funny looks.
“This is too complicated. Forget it,” Callie said.
“No, no, I want to watch Hahn squirm at our housewarming party. You can bring McSteamy, too,” Cristina said, eyes glittering with fantasies of torturing Callie’s girlfriend. “We’ll get drunk and play Scrabble. This party has to happen now.”
“You hate parties,” Callie said weakly.
“I love getting drunk and irritating Hahn,” Cristina said. “And this will irritate the crap out of Hahn, but she’ll come, because she likes you.”
“Okay, now I know this is a bad idea,” Callie said.
“Too late,” Cristina said, hustling over to George and Lexie Grey. “Hey, Callie and I are having a housewarming party this Saturday. Bring a bottle of booze.”
“Can Lexie come?” George asked.
Cristina looked at Lexie, lips pursed. “Fine, whatever, if you irritate your sister I will beat you,” she told Lexie. “And you each have to bring a bottle of booze. No two-for-ones.”
Callie hid her face behind her hand. Oh, this was such a bad idea.
“You’re making me go to a party with all of those girls?” Erica whined at Joe’s, where Callie had finally worked up the courage to tell her that there was a housewarming party on Saturday. “This is some obscure revenge Yang is trying to get on me for threatening Grey with a steak knife.”
“Yeah, pretty much,” Callie said. “Also, stop mentioning that or people are going to think Grey pressed charges.”
“What, how Dr. Hahn threatened Grey with a steak knife?” Mark asked, sitting down with them. “Too late. I think it’s hilarious.”
“Hey, Mark, you’re coming to the housewarming party, right?” Callie asked.
“Duh,” Mark said. “Like I’d miss watching Hahn here have to be nice to Yang for a whole evening.”
“I’m not going,” Erica complained. “This is cruel. You don’t force attendings to go to parties with a bunch of residents. And you don’t make Batman drink with the Joker.”
“Who are you, the Batman or the Joker?” Mark asked. “Come on, Hahn. You gonna let Yang scare you out of getting to see Callie’s new apartment with its new bedroom that’s not Dr. Yang’s couch?”
Erica paused and gave Mark a passing glare. “Well-played, Dr. Sloan,” she said ruefully.
Callie grinned. “I did kind of plan, in the original version of this party, to spend a lot of time showing you the nicest parts of my apartment,” she said, winking. “And if the mean little residents get under your skin, you can take it out of me.”
Erica did a double take and smiled back, looking away slightly. “Don’t think I won’t, either,” she said shyly. “This isn’t going to turn into a party where everyone with an MD is invited, is it?”
“No,” Callie said. “It’s you two, Stephens, O’Malley, Grey, Karev, and Meredith’s sister. At least as far as I’ve heard.”
“Ah, the one who’s attached to O’Malley’s ass,” Mark said. “That’s not a bad group…wait. Is Derek not getting invited?”
“Cristina hates him and I don’t know him to invite him,” Callie said.
“He’s Meredith’s boyfriend,” Mark pointed out. “He’s my best friend.”
“Cristina hates him,” Callie repeated. “If you think you need Derek at the party, go take it up with Yang.”
“Well, maybe I will,” Mark said. “Ladies.”
He actually left them alone. Callie snickered.
“He’s scared of being alone at the party with them, too,” Erica whispered into Callie’s ear.
“Yeah, he is,” Callie said.
“This party is going to suck more than a thousand ABBA records,” Erica murmured, squeezing Callie’s hand under the bar.
Callie whimpered. “I know.”
Seriously, all of Callie’s friends who weren’t Cristina sucked. Because the last thing Cristina wanted to see was Sloan coming her way to bitch about who was invited to her party.
“Are you inviting Derek to this little housewarming party?” Sloan asked Cristina, who snorted. “Come on, you can’t leave me stuck with those two and no one else, and your friends don’t like me, Yang.”
“Take it up with Dr. Torres,” Cristina said airily. “Also, I don’t need McDreamy at my party. He’s all I hear about in general.”
“At least ask that new trauma doctor, Hunt,” Sloan pleaded, reminding Cristina that Dr. Hunt was in the building. Not Joe’s, but the hospital. And that the thought of having Dr. Hunt at her party — which Cristina knew she was holding mostly to torture Hahn — suddenly made it seem less party-like and more anxiety-making.
“Fine,” Cristina said. “Huh.”
She’d been watching Hahn and Callie, and they were just so weird, the way they were near each other. Hahn was looking at Callie like they were in love or something, resting her head on her hands and smiling at Callie, and Callie was laughing about something.
“Do you ever think those two are the weirdest BFFs ever?” Cristina asked.
Sloan chuckled. “Oh, you have no idea,” he said. “Hunt needs to be at the party, okay?”
“Fine, whatever,” Cristina said. “Just don’t tell Derek, because I will McPuke if I have to deal with him.”
She was probably going to McPuke when she invited Owen Hunt to her apartment, but that was extra reason why Derek didn’t need to come. One bad situation was plenty. Cristina didn’t need two.
“Do you think Meredith will actually care that I’m at her best friend’s party?” Lexie asked, hefting her twenty-dollar bottle of tequila as they waited at the door. George had vodka, and he looked totally nervous, despite the fact he wasn’t the one nobody wanted at this party.
“Do you think my ex-wife will care that I’m at her party?” George asked.
“Is Dr. Torres the kind of person who holds a grudge?” Lexie asked, knocking again.
“I’m not sure, but I’m a little afraid,” George said as the door flew open to reveal — Hahn? “Um. Hi.”
“I have been elected bouncer,” Hahn said. She was…was she tipsy? “Do you have the bottles of booze? Dr. Sloan came without and is currently scrounging at the liquor store. Because no one is above the rules here.”
She was tipsy. “Um, I kind of know how Cristina is,” George said, holding up his bottle of vodka.
“And Dr. Torres, of course,” Hahn said, giving him this weird, cutting look. “You know all about how she is.”
“Yes,” George said, sliding past.
“You look nice,” Lexie managed to say to Dr. Hahn, who chuckled. She did look nice — for the scariest person Lexie knew.
“And you have tequila, which means you, Dr. Grey, will be very welcome by our hostesses,” Hahn said grandiosely.
“Thanks,” Lexie said, hurrying behind George. “Wow, this apartment is not the craphole I would have expected. It’s actually kinda nice.”
“Yeah, it is,” George said. “Was it me, or is Hahn drunk?”
“Oh, yeah,” Lexie said.
“George-and-Lexie!” Cristina announced loudly. “Dude, you two are late.”
“Did you all pregame?” George asked. “Hahn is…”
“She’s sloshed on expensive wine that only attendings and Princess Callie get to drink,” Cristina said. “Lightweight.”
“I heard that,” Hahn yelled.
“Good,” Cristina said. “Where’s Sloan? He owes us a jumbo bottle of the good stuff….ooh, Lexie, you have tequila. Meredith! Your sister brought tequila!”
George almost fell over as Meredith bounced out of what he assumed was Cristina’s bedroom, beaming and also kind of drunk. Meredith was so rarely a happy drunk.
“Good sister!” Meredith said. “I just called Izzie. She says that if we lose her Scrabble pieces, she will beat us all up, and she, the Scrabble board, some muffins, and her bottle are on the way. Where’s Callie?”
“I don’t know, she’s getting all sexy,” Cristina said with a sneer. “I invited Dr. Hunt, who swears he’s coming, and I didn’t dress up. Callie’s not even dating right now, so don’t ask me what her deal is.”
Meredith had stolen the tequila from Lexie and was already pouring for herself and Alex Karev, who was at the stereo bitching about the CD collection. Hahn looked like she wanted to attack Cristina with a knife or hide, George looked happy that Dr. Torres was hiding, and Cristina looked on edge about something.
“I’m scared,” Lexie murmured sotto voce to George.
“We should all be scared,” George said, opening his vodka and pouring himself a screwdriver.
He was halfway through his second when Callie finally made her appearance.
“You weren’t joking,” he told Cristina, who was tapping her foot impatiently. “Callie looks…wow. She looks nice.”
Cristina laughed. “She does bring the hot when she’s in the mood,” she agreed. “Though I have no idea who it’s for.”
“Me neither,” George said, shaking his head.
Lexie just hoped it wasn’t George, because then she’d have to throw down with George’s ex-wife, and then George’s ex-wife’s best friend would kill her.
Probably with the same steak knife she was planning to use to kill her sister.
Definitely, definitely this party was kind of terrifying and Lexie needed to drink now.
Everyone at her party was already wasted and they weren’t even playing Pictionary yet. Well, okay, George wasn’t drunk just yet and Lexie Grey was totally in love with him if Callie was reading that situation correctly.
Erica, of course, was being the weird girl in the back who didn’t talk to people, and Callie was having none of that tonight. She poured Erica a shot of tequila, got her own, and sashayed to the door.
“You are hiding like a scared little girl,” Callie said, handing Erica the shot. “Do the shot.”
“I am trying to get drunk without Karev making too many comments,” Erica replied dourly before looking up at Callie. “You are…wow.”
“Oh, you like?” Callie asked, twirling around in her sparkly skirt, and then thrusting out the shot glass. “Come on, drink with me.”
Erica took the shot and made a face. “I don’t understand why you like tequila,” she said. “It always makes me act like an idiot. Besides, there are things I’d far rather do than drink with you…”
Callie tossed back her shot just in time to get shoved against a wall and kissed thoroughly.
Nice. A few glasses of wine and one shot of tequila and suddenly there was much less, “oh no, if the other surgeons see me touching you I will be disgraced and unprivate!” crap coming out of Erica’s mouth.
Oh, yeah. This was definitely good.
Of course, Erica did jump apart from Callie and put her hand over her mouth when the person at the door knocked hard, but they were making progress.
“I bet that’s Mark,” Erica said disdainfully, wrenching open the door. “Oh, hey, it is.”
“Oh, hey, Dr. Hahn, what were you up to?” Mark greeted them.
“Mark, is that…Jaeger?” Callie asked, focused on his large bottle of booze.
“It is,” Mark said. “Shut up and let me in. I have another present for this super-fun party where everyone hates each other.”
“Does Sloan have booze now?” Cristina called from the living room.
“He has paid his toll,” Callie said.
“Good,” Cristina said.
“I have also brought a present,” Mark said, handing Erica the package and Callie the booze before draping his arms over each of them and smirking as they lumbered into the living room. “Wow, it’s a bunch of drunk residents and Lexie Grey. I thought Dr. Hunt was coming, Yang.”
“So did I,” Cristina snarled bitchily. “What is Hahn holding?”
“Erica here has a PlayStation 2 with the greatest game of all time…”
“Madden?” George suggested.
“Grand Theft Auto?” Alex added.
“Rock Band?” Lexie said. Everyone looked at her. “I play it at Best Buy when I’m upset. It’s fun.”
“Almost Rock Band,” Mark said. “Karaoke. Competitive karaoke.”
Everyone stared at him in fascinated horror, and that was when the doorbell went off again, causing Erica to set the PlayStation down and run for the door.
“Izzie! Dr. Hunt! And…Dr. Shepherd!” she said loudly.
Cristina paused and then gave Mark a look of death. “You didn’t,” she said.
“No, I didn’t,” Mark said. “Why don’t you ask Meredith?”
Meredith lifted her cup from the couch. “I didn’t!” she said. “What didn’t I do?”
“Do they have the entrance fee?” Callie inquired, extricating herself from Mark’s opportunistic embrace.
“Do you mean this bottle of expensive scotch?” Dr. Hunt asked, hoisting a bottle.
“Apparently the answer is yes,” Mark said. “So, how about it, Dr. Hahn? Team karaoke, winner take the expensive booze home?”
Erica shot a look at Callie as she led Izzie, Shepherd, and Hunt into the party and then smiled evilly.
“Only if Callie and I get to be a team,” she said sweetly.
Oh, Erica was going to take so many things out of Callie later. Until they were both hoarse.
Okay, the part where this party had no use for a random intern was sort of making it better. Also that everyone was having drama that in no way involved Lexie and nobody was telling her to go away.
“Why didn’t you mention there was going to be a party?” Derek was asking Meredith, the hurt clear in his voice.
“Because you’re not friends with the hostesses,” Hahn said from Callie’s lap. It wasn’t Lexie’s business, but they were kind of cute, all cuddly and teasing everyone else, especially Dr. Sloan, who kept giving them funny looks. It made Lexie kind of wish she had a sister she could cuddle with. That or a George O’Malley, though she didn’t think Hahn and Torres were cuddling the way Lexie wanted to cuddle George. “Don’t whine, Shepherd. You’re here and nobody kicked you out despite you bringing half a bottle of Grey’s booze, so deal with it.”
Cristina was suddenly hiding out in the kitchen in the midst of the new arrivals and Dr. Hunt was watching her but not saying much. Hunt seemed way too mature for this messed up party, except maybe he liked Cristina. Lexie hoped that he really, really liked Cristina, or this messed up party was going to scare him off, and rejected Cristina was mean Cristina and it would be Lexie who suffered.
“I see,” Derek said, attention on Hahn all of a sudden. “And you are…definitely on all kinds of terms with your hostess tonight, I see.”
Maybe Dr. Hahn and Dr. Torres were cuddling romantically after all.
“What’s that mean?” Callie asked Hahn, suddenly burrowing deeper into the other surgeon’s shoulder and smiling.
“It means we’re drunk and touchy-feely and winning karaoke when one of us geniuses attaches that machine to Yang’s television,” Hahn said, petting Callie’s arm covetously. “Also that McDreamy feels snubbed by the coven and wants to take it out on an obvious target.”
Everyone went dead silent and stared at Dr. Hahn. She gazed back wordlessly with the die, peasants glare and inevitably, only Alex could overcome its scariness.
“Dude,” Karev said. “I think every day should be get Hahn drunk day.”
“Besides, how do you know you’re going to win karaoke?” Cristina demanded. “One of us might be a secret Broadway star, and you wouldn’t know because you don’t like people and don’t know their secret talents.”
“I will put up a hundred bucks that Dr. Torres and I win,” Hahn said simply. “Anyone else got money to put on the table or is everyone here all talk?”
“I’ll take that wager,” Dr. Hunt said, pulling two bills out of his wallet. “Cristina and I are in.”
Cristina tossed Hunt a surprised look, but seemed to get some courage from that. “Yeah,” she said. “I’m so in.”
“What the hell,” Mark said. “Grey, you and me.”
Meredith looked surprised. “Why us?” she asked.
“Dirty mistresses stick together,” Mark said. “Besides, who else am I gonna pick — Karev?”
“I don’t have a hundred bucks to play competitive karaoke,” Alex said. “Especially because I have no interest in playing.”
“I’m in,” Izzie said brashly. “Alex, man up and play with me.”
Lexie felt a little left out. Not only was she too broke to play drunk karaoke with attendings, George wasn’t exactly volunteering, and Dr. Shepherd looked really mad at both Hahn and Dr. Sloan.
“George, Lexie,” he said suddenly. “Apparently no one thinks we have a chance to win, so why don’t we team up?”
“Thanks,” Lexie said. “That’s really nice of you.”
“Oh, suck it, Skipper,” Cristina taunted, having moved herself much closer to Hunt. “We can only have so much perkiness at this gathering of mean people who hate each other.”
George looked up from where he’d finished plugging in the PlayStation. “Underestimate the Lexie at your own peril, Yang,” he said, trying to sound mean.
He failed, but that was why Lexie adored him anyway. Because unlike the rest of…oh, god, it was so mean and religiously biased that Dr. Hahn called her sister’s friends “the coven” but it was true, it was horrible and true…Lexie liked nice people.
And George was so nice. If he only understood she existed.
Stupid Hahn. She got to be mean AND be cuddled, further proving life was not fair.
He had come. He had come only to discover the worst of all of Cristina’s friends and frenemies and now Cristina wished that instead of inviting hot Dr. Army to her housewarming party of torture and failure, she’d ditched the party and gone skydiving with him instead.
“Can you sing?” Cristina asked Owen.
“No,” Owen said with a shrug.
“Do you hate me for inviting you to this drunken mess of dysfunction and failure?” Cristina asked as McSteamy explained in his big boy voice how to play Singstar and the rules for winning the five hundred bucks now ostentatiously sitting in a pile on the coffee table.
“Absolutely not,” Owen said. “It’s interesting to see how my colleagues behave when they’re off duty. For example, I wouldn’t have expected your roommate’s girlfriend to be quite so demonstrative. She seems rather private about the relationship at work.”
Roommate’s girlfriend…oh, Hahn. He meant Hahn.
He meant Hahn and Callie were an item.
“They’re not,” said Cristina, and then looked at the duo, who was hanging all over each other on the couch, giving Sloan crap. “I mean…well. I.”
That explained so much. And was so clearly true that Cristina felt kind of stupid for not realizing it before.
“I assumed, anyway,” Owen said. “Do you think I’m wrong?”
“I think that given that Callie used to be married to George and was recently sleeping with Sloan, I am a little surprised,” Cristina said, trying not to be obvious as she stared.
“Okay, who’s going first?” Sloan asked. “Since Dr. Hahn has a big mouth…”
“You’re going first,” Hahn said. “But you can pick whatever song you want for us later.”
Sloan glared, motioned Meredith to the microphone, and chose “Paint It Black.”
“Your old is showing,” Cristina hollered. Sloan waved her off and Cristina soon learned that Sloan knew something about video game strategy, because a song with that many “mmm mmm mmm mmm mmms” was actually kind of easy to sing and dealt with the part where Meredith couldn’t sing.
Cristina kind of wanted to know where Sloan had the time to play this much video game karaoke, but whatever, he was demonstrating how to play. That was good.
Their score wasn’t great, but it wasn’t bad, either. Mark smirked at Cristina before he and Meredith sat down.
“Okay, we’re next,” Izzie announced. “Alex?”
He looked up from the back of the game box. “Sublime, Santeria,” he said. Izzie looked a little nonplussed, but went along with it.
Turned out that Izzie couldn’t sing…and Alex could. Kinda sorta. They virtually tied with Sloan and Meredith, which meant that elimination time was going to be rough.
“All right, guys,” said Shepherd to George and Lexie. “Shall we show these mean, terrible people that we don’t suck at Singstar?”
George shrugged. “It’s okay if we do,” he said. “Though I have to wonder when Dr. Hahn and Dr. Torres are gonna take a turn and show off these skills they claim to have.”
“Soon, O’Malley, soon,” Callie piped in before going back to her innocent, friendly nuzzling with her ‘best friend.’ “After you.”
“Well, I think that means we have to rock the greatest song of the 90s,” George said with slightly drunken dignity. “Ice, Ice Baby.”
That turned out to be a mistake, because the rap meter on the game was totally different from the song meter and watching Shepherd, George, and Lexie try to rap together, while great for laughs, didn’t net them a very good score.
Cristina was meanly glad because that meant she and Owen didn’t have to be good. Just better than George, Lexie, and Derek.
“All right,” Mark said. “I think it’s time that we see if Dr. Hahn can cash that check her mouth wrote. And as she so kindly said that I could choose the song…”
He paused the game. “Aretha Franklin, Respect.”
“Sure,” Callie said. “Hand over the microphones, Mark.”
Cristina realized as Callie helped Hahn up that they had perhaps been set up, because Mark settled back with a little grin that was less-than-innocent and seemed not at all worried about what Hahn had up her devious sleeves.
“How do we turn this up to hard?” Hahn asked.
“Patience, you,” Callie said. “Let’s win the round first.”
“You two can’t be that good,” Alex complained.
“I’m not,” Hahn said, raising her eyebrows. “She is.”
Sure enough, when the first notes of the song started up, Callie started to sing and everyone gaped. The woman could sing. Dear god, could Callie sing. And for all her smirking declaration that she couldn’t, Hahn wasn’t bad. She wouldn’t have won it on her own, but she definitely was better than Meredith or Izzie. About as good as Alex, which was like being Madonna in this crowd.
“Cheaty McCheaters,” was what Meredith managed to say when they finished with a guaranteed Superstar score.
“You totally have to play medium or advanced next round,” Izzie agreed.
“Shush,” Cristina said. “Dr. Hunt and I are the ones who are the most screwed here. There’s still a chance he and I can qualify for the next round while you all tool on Hahn and Torres for cheating.”
“Dude, they’re going to win the five hundred dollars,” Alex said, pointing at Callie and Hahn, who were back to canoodling and drinking and cackling like the evil secret girlfriends they were.
“Yeah, well…I’m still playing,” Cristina said. “So is Dr. Hunt, so shut up.”
Owen winked at her. “Never say die?” he asked.
“Not when I’m playing her,” Cristina said.
Actually, after everyone realized that they weren’t going to win any money singing, the karaoke game had become fun. For instance, Alex was singing some Killers song, and there had been an all-girl rendition of “I Will Survive” that had made Lexie think maybe that she wasn’t working with a bunch of inhuman sociopaths.
Plus, the evening was winding down. Meredith and Derek were crashed on the couch, Cristina had disappeared with Dr. Hunt, and as for Dr. Torres and Dr. Hahn…
“Okay,” said George to Izzie waiting for someone to get out of the bathroom. “Am I crazy, or are Hahn and Callie kind of…sort of…friendly tonight?”
“You’re crazy,” Izzie said. “They’re just double-teaming because they feel intimidated by what Hahn dubbed the coven. It’s insecurity and your filthy male fantasies.”
“Insecurity,” said Alex, chuckling. “Right. Insecurity is totally why they’re practically making out in their one chair.”
“Yeah, insecurity,” Izzie said. “Please, just because you sickos think any time two girls touch there’s a dirty naughty subtext doesn’t mean there’s anything going on.”
“Or O’Malley turned his ex-wife gay,” Alex said. “Dude, you have to admit that’s possible.”
Izzie smacked Alex. “God, I hate you,” she said as the door opened and Lexie hurried out so that Izzie could use the bathroom.
“So O’Malley thinks he turned his ex gay,” Alex told Lexie. “What do you think what’s going on there?”
“Cuteness,” Lexie said with a sad sigh. “I want to cuddle with someone like that. I used to think I could have a big sister to cuddle with. Or a boyfriend. But nobody wants to cuddle Lexie.”
George immediately hugged Lexie and ruffled her hair. “Everyone should want to cuddle Lexie,” he said. “Lexie is adorable and has a photographic memory and isn’t a complete cynical…person.”
Lexie beamed, but then Izzie was done in the bathroom and George rushed in so fast that she almost fell.
Izzie then gestured to Alex and Lexie and pointed at the chair.
“I didn’t want to say this,” Izzie said quietly. “But totally, totally, George turned Callie gay. I just don’t want him to feel bad, because you know, he’s my friend. But seriously, she’s gay now.”
Alex started howling with laughter. Lexie jumped.
“Something funny, Karev?” Hahn asked.
“Lexie is jealous of you two because O’Malley won’t cuddle her,” Alex said. “Hey, has anyone seen Cristina?”
“Oh, she’s off with Owen,” Callie said. “Probably showing him her bedroom.”
Hahn started laughing again and then murmured something in Callie’s ear.
“I did, didn’t I?” Callie said speculatively. “I totally need to make good on that.”
“Is the party over?” Meredith asked suddenly. She had fallen asleep on Derek thanks to alcohol and exhaustion after the singing competition had been dubbed unfair by everyone. “Where did Cristina go?”
“Her room. With a boy,” Izzie said.
“Oh,” Meredith said as George emerged from the bathroom. “Where did Sloan go?”
“He ditched us,” Alex said. “For greener pastures. Or to cry because Callie has no interest in showing him her bedroom.”
“Speaking of my bedroom, you all need to get out now,” Callie said abruptly. “The party’s over.”
“Do we get our money back?” Izzie asked tartly. “I mean, nobody ever mentioned you can sing like an American Idol.”
“I knew, and I’ve known Callie for less time than any of you,” Hahn said. “So you have no one to blame but yourselves.”
Everyone tilted their heads toward Alex. Because there needed to be a comeback or Hahn won tonight. And Hahn winning tonight would be kind of embarrassing, as Hahn had spent the evening semi-sloppy drunk and in Callie’s lap daring anyone to say anything about it.
Also, she had cheated them all out of money.
Okay, mostly she had cheated the attendings out of money, and Izzie, and if Lexie understood the history, Izzie had been the person George had cheated on Callie with, so Hahn probably didn’t feel bad about hustling Izzie out of a hundred bucks for all the rampant cheating.
Alex shrugged. Apparently he valued his career more than their pride, the wimp.
“Oh, give Stephens her money back,” Callie said suddenly, getting up and pulling Hahn with her. “And then, seriously, I’m tired and Cristina’s ditched you guys, go drink somewhere else.”
And then a bunch of confused residents, one intern, and Derek Shepherd were out of Callie’s apartment with the door closed in their face and locked behind them. Izzie had her hundred dollar bill, and she looked about to say something, but Callie was already back in her apartment, which only had one person left in it.
“You hustled them,” was all Callie said. “Are you even drunk?”
“On three glasses of wine and a shot of tequila?” Erica asked, rolling her eyes. “Please.”
“You are evil in ways that nobody imagines,” Callie said, looking at the mess with distaste. “That’s hot.”
“I entertained myself,” was Erica’s reply. “I guess we owe Mark some money, too.”
“Screw that,” Callie said. “He knew what was coming and played along. We get his money.”
Erica started to laugh. “None of them would say it,” she said. “I mean, we were pretty blatant tonight, weren’t we?”
“And then Cristina stole our idea and ditched us with her friends,” Callie said. “God, I didn’t realize how much I don’t like Cristina’s friends. Because I tried to be friends with them, you know? Back when it was me and George.”
Her girlfriend — and it was true, Callie had basically announced that she had a girlfriend now — petted her neck and smiled ruefully.
“Speaking of your ex-husband,” and Erica’s voice was sweet and purring, “How clueless is he? That poor girl whimpering because nobody would cuddle her and O’Malley still didn’t take the hint?”
“I know,” Callie said. “So…do you want to see my bedroom?”
“Yes,” Erica said. “Because I can take a hint. And because, y’know, I’ve known you six months and I know more about you than all your other friends.”
“I don’t like my friends,” Callie said, running her hand over Erica’s arm. “Well, Yang’s all right, despite your feud, but I like you…” and there was a long, slow kiss… “Better than my other friends.”
“Can I see your bedroom then?” Erica asked, swaying and teasing.
“Oh, yeah,” Callie said, leading them down the hall. “Every last inch.”
Okay, maybe the party had been a good idea. Callie and Cristina had both ended the evening with someone to warm them up, so, you know…not bad.